Episode 31: Three-Way Super Like (with Special Guest Nate Hale)

The guys are joined by Nate Hale from The Conspirators Podcast for a Spooky good time!

Hocus Pocus or Hocus Bogus

1) Creepshow 3 (2007): A sequel to 1982 and 1987’s Creepshow Films

Abandoning the horror comic book framework that linked the stories in Romero’s original, Creepshow 3 takes the annoying tactic of unskillfully borrowing from the films of Quentin Tarantino, where characters from different segments randomly collide throughout the film.

The vignettes (which include stories about a remote control that can change your ethnicity, and a radio that commands listeners to murder) lack inspiration, and the effects aren’t very special. Adding insult to injury, Creepshow 3 has been deemed unofficial, with fans of the original choosing to believe makeup artist Tom Savini’s assertion that 1990’s Tales from the Darkside: The Movie was meant to the be the official third film in the Creepshow franchise.

Rotten Tomatoes-0%

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2) The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and became Mixed Up Zombies (1964):

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies is as bewildering as its title. Billed as the “first monster musical,” the movie stars Ray Dennis Steckler (who also directs) as Jerry, a ne’er-do-well who attends a carnival with his girlfriend Angela (Sharon Walsh) and indescribable friend Harold (Atlas King).

What should be a care-free day at the park turns into a nightmare after Jerry visits the villainous psychic Estrella (Brett O’Hara), who hypnotizes him and turns him into a murderous zombie that attacks carnival attendees with psychotic glee. To make matters worse, Estrella and her goons are turning other carnival-goers into zombies after hurling acid in their faces.

Keep in mind all these bizarre antics are often interrupted by shoehorned musical performances featuring ungraceful dancers and tone-deaf vocalists.

Rotten Tomatoes-20%

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3) Evilspeak (1981): 

Clint Howard is a bullied social outcast who uses his satanic computer to get revenge on his classmates. You know the computer has the Devil in it because it flashes a glowing blood-red pentagram at him and inspires him to commit himself to the dark lord. Puppies are killed in the process. It’s part of a long and dorky tradition of horror movies that are really about the fear of a nascent technology (or whatever all the kids happen to be into at that moment in the culture).

Rotten Tomatoes-43%

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4) Maximum Overdrive (1986)- 

After a stray comet causes a radiation storm, the citizens of North Carolina are besieged by machines that turn against them. The most deadly instruments are big rig trucks that go on a killing spree. It’s up to a group of survivors (led by a truck-stop diner cook played by Emilio Estevez) to stop their mechanized reign of terror.

Maximum Overdrive is absolutely bonkers, with enough elements of black comedy to infer that King wasn’t out to make a serious film, which adds to its junk-food appeal. But the poor critical reviews and box office made him vow never to direct again (a number of on-set accidents that led to a lawsuit probably helped his decision).

Rotten Tomatoes- 17%

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5) Creature (2011)-

Creature (or as I like to call it, "pornography with a monster") is about a bunch of college students who come to a town because of a legend about this creature who used to be a regular guy then transformed into a crocodile/human monster. Ladies and gentlemen, this movie is TERRIBLE! It's pure bad from beginning to end.

How are the monster effects? Terrible. How is the acting? Terrible. How is it written? I think a drunken ape with a pen and paper could have written a better script. Is it scary? No. Is it fun like Evil Dead 2? Nope. It's just an awful movie that I cannot believe made it into theaters.

Rotten Tomatoes- 11%

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6) The Boy (2016): 
A young American woman (The Walking Dead’s Lauren Cohan) takes a job as a nanny at a remote, English stately home to look after a suspiciously elderly couple’s eight-year-old son, Brahms. The ‘son’ naturally turns out to be a porcelain doll, the real Brahms having died in a fire years earlier.

Spooky stuff starts happening when the doll starts moving around by himself alongside a daft romantic subplot with a flirty grocery boy and plenty of schlocky twists. Unluckily for us, The Boy’s predictable ending leaves the movie wide open for an equally bad sequel too. Please no.

Rotten Tomatoes-27%

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7) The Disappointments Room (2016): 

The Disappointments Room stars Kate Beckinsale as Dana who moves with her husband and young son into a spooky old house following the tragic death of the couple’s infant daughter.

Dana discovers her new house is home to a ‘disappointments room’, a place where the intolerant folk of the olden days would hide away children with disabilities from the rest of the world, and is haunted by the spirit of one of its former inhabitants. Now, horror isn’t exactly the most light-hearted of genres but a movie with a grieving mother and the ghost of a neglected child is grim even for horror.

Beyond its upsetting plot, the film is as much of a disappointment as its title would suggest. Not only did it get a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, it also flopped massively at the box office recouping just $2.4 million of its $15 million budget.

Rotten Tomatoes-0%

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Listen to who wins at: Episode 31: Three-Way Super Like